(Phyllis Lyon, left, with her wife Del Martin, right, after being the first same-sex couple to marry in California in 2004.)

The LGBT community has just learned that Del Martin, 87, has passed away in San Francisco with her wife and partner of +50 years, Phyllis Lyon, by her side. Del and Phyllis were the first same-sex couple to marry in California in 2004 when Mayor Gavin Newsom began issuing licenses in San Francisco. They then became plaintiffs in the California marriage cases, resulting in the State Supreme Court’s ruling in May that all Californians should be treated equally when it comes to the fundamental freedom to marry.

Del and Phyllis remarried on June 16 with the full weight of the state constitution at their side.

From the National Center for Lesbian Right’s press release:

“Ever since I met Del 55 years ago, I could never imagine a day would come when she wouldn’t be by my side. I am so lucky to have known her, loved her, and been her partner in all things,” Lyon said. “I also never imagined there would be a day that we would actually be able to get married. I am devastated, but I take some solace in knowing we were able to enjoy the ultimate rite of love and commitment before she passed.”

Click here to read NCLR’s full release on their website. The hearts of Family Equality Council board and staff go out to Phyllis and Phyllis and Del’s family and friends.

Leave a comment. Share your thoughts on Del’s passing and the importance of marriage equality for all loving families.

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It’s been nearly 2 years (and 760 posts) since we launched The Family Equality Council Blog back in 2006. Since then, 126,000 people from around the world - yourself included - have visited our blog. 1,000 comments have been made and countless ideas and viewpoints exchanged. Our blog has grown to include dozens of guest bloggers and 10 official contributors from outside our organization.

Though a lot has changed over the years, our three reasons for sharing and expanding this blog have not. First, it is a means of communication to connect us with you, and you with each other. Second, our blog aims to keep you informed about the life of Family Equality Council - what we’re doing, where we’re going and how we’re making change across this country. Third, this blog enables us to share our reactions to current events and the movement at large.

We thank you for joining us on this exciting journey in this exciting movement. And we hope you enjoy the new look of our blog.

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Didn’t think we were hip enough to be on Perez Hilton’s blog? Think again! Seeing is believing, so click here.

We thank Perez for highlighting our important work and for increasing the visibility of LGBT families!

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Will there soon be another high-profile LGBT family in Hollywood? A recent article in GenQ by Natalie Kalow suggests that Ellen and Portia may be ready to expand their family:

First comes love, then comes marriage.. then comes? Yep, you guessed it, just as talk of the marriage between Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi is dying down, the couple say they are thinking about starting a family.

Gorgeous actress Portia, revealed the couple have already discussed having children.

“We go back and forth, I don’t know if it’s our immediate future. It’s something we talk about every few months” Said the 35-year old.

In typical fashion, comedian Ellen has joked she would love to be a mother to “pretty kids”, like the six children Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have together.

Ellen said: “If they would be as pretty as Brad and Angelina’s kids, we might.

“It’s something we would never take lightly and just say, ‘That would be fun.’ It’s a lot of work and we recognise that.”

But the couple won’t be heading to the sperm bank just yet. Ellen has added that the newlyweds want to enjoy married life for a while before they think about children.

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As part of our continuing Team Equality Spotlight series, we were excited to sit down with Family Equality Council’s Nina Selvaggio.

What is your role at Family Equality Council?

I am the Director of Programs.

Why is family equality important to you?

I believe the current mainstream concept of who makes a family is antiquated and so many families fall out of that paradigm, including LGBT families. The world we live in today is so complex that our families need more protections. My partner and I are trying to have a baby right now and we hope our family will be recognized, respected, protected and celebrated.  The movement to ensure family equality is one of the key parts of the LGBT civil rights movement.

What is your favorite part of working in the Boston office?

Working in Downtown Crossing is great.  Downtown Boston is filled with a lot of opportunities and activities and is close to everything!

What’s a little known fact about you that you care to share with us?

I like to knit.

Of all the wonderful events, programs and initiatives happening in the next year at Family Equality Council, about which one thing are you most excited?

I am really excited about the strategic plan and the possibilities that lie ahead to better serve all LGBT families across the country.

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Banned Books Week will be observed September 27 through October 4. This year marks BBW’s 27th anniversary.

The American Library Association describes the event as a way to celebrate the freedom to choose and the freedom to express one’s opinion - even if that opinion might be considered unorthodox or unpopular. The annual BBW stresses the importance of ensuring the availability of all viewpoints to those who wish to read them.

The most frequently challenged books of 2007 include:

• And Tango Makes Three, by Justin Richardson/Peter Parnell
• The Color Purple, by Alice Walker
• The Perks of Being A Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky

BBW is sponsored by the American Booksellers Association, American Booksellers Foundation for Free Expression, American Library Association, American Society of Journalists and Authors, Association of American Publishers, National Association of College Stores, and is endorsed by the Center for the Book in the Library of Congress.

Observed since 1982, this annual American Library Association event reminds Americans not to take this democratic freedom for granted.

Crossposted at ProudParenting.com

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Over the weekend, I read an interesting article in the Dallas Voice about gay families (and, for that matter, any other non-Mom/Dad families such as single parents, grandparents raising grandchildren, etc) being discriminated against at a Dallas, Texas Gun Range. It’s reminder of the many smaller ways in which our families are marginalized and the importance of fighting the good fight. The article, written by Daniel A. Kusner, states:

In Texas, guns are a part of our culture just as much as football, cowboy hats and two-stepping. In fact, Gov. Rick Perry recently said he supported the Harrold Independent School District’s decision to let teachers pack heat during classes.

Gay gun groups are nothing new — even San Francisco has a “pink pistols” club. And according to an employee at the DFW Gun Range & Training Center, the Pink Pistol Club of Central Texas (San Antonio and Austin) recently visited the facilities.

A trip to the range isn’t terribly expensive: If y’all wanted to go on a date, each non-member would pay $16.99 for a range fee and $7.99 for a handgun rental (then you’d have to shop for ammo).

There are also annual memberships: individuals ($165) and family ($215).

Family memberships are defined as “mom/dad and any children under 21 living at home.” DFW Gun Range recently voted on whether to include same-sex partners — living at the same address — in their definition of family memberships.

Manager Joe Elledge told Dallas Voice that the gun range discussed the matter and decided against including gay partners in the family memberships. No explanation was given as to how they reached that decision.

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I’ll bet the above headline just caught your eye. The thought just crossed my mind as I sat wonder what will be needed so that someday in future we can see LGBT parents (both single and couples) root for their kids competing for gold, silver and bronze medals in swimming, gymnastics, basketball, soccer, sailing, equestrian events, boxing, wrestling and all the other sports at the Summer Olympics (and the sports at the Winter Olympics too).

Two large challenges will need to be overcome for dreams to become reality. First of all, the sports world will need to evolve to the point where athletes can feel safe from abuse and career limitations in coming out. Certainly there have been a handful of openly gay and lesbian Olympians out during the games but they have been few and far between and they have been mainly in individual sports.

The sports world needs to become more accepting of gay and lesbian players so that they can come out at the height of their career. Few have taken the risk in doing so. By coming out when she did Martina Navratilova lost hundreds of millions of dollars in endorsements. Martina was one of the greatest athletes of the 20^th century and yet her endorsements were limited to the Rainbow Card and Subaru USA and Olivia Cruise Lines. Had Martina remained closeted her face would have been plastered on products in ads all over the media.

There are plenty of gays in sports, don’t get me wrong and there are also many LGBT sports fans. Take a look at the popular website Outsports.com at www.outsports.com to see coverage of a wide range of sports. In fact they have been producing an n in depth coverage of the Olympics. My dear friend, famed writer Patricia Nell Warren writes a regular column on gay sports history for Outsports.com , which can be accessed at http://www.outsports.com/history/index.htm. I definitely recommend taking a look at both Outsports.com and Patricia’s  “History of Gay’s In Sports Columns.

Still to see openly gay people in sports the way we do in other fields the sports world will need to overcome its locker room homophobia.

Openly gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender parents rooting for their kids at the Olympics will require different changes. First parents will need to feel safe in being out when traveling to and within the country where the games are being hosted. Couples will also benefit from having the right to same-sex marriages. So many rights come with same-sex marriage not only to those getting married but also even to those that don’t. Marriage opens the door for the advancement in other venues such as employment. That is one of the reasons the religious right are fighting same-sex marriage in California and elsewhere. It is critical that we win the fight in California in beating back Proposition 8, which will put a constitutional amendment in place banning same-sex marriage. Whether we live in California or not we all need to get involved with the fight to kill this amendment. Two websites worth visiting and contributing money to are Equality for all at www.equalityforall.com and Marriage Equality USA at www.marriageequalityusa.org.

I look forward to the day where my husband and I can go to the Olympics and root for our grandson should he make an Olympic team. I also look forward to all LGBT athletes being able to compete in the Olympics by being out and proud when they do so!

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With increasing coverage of LGBT parents in the media today, it is surprising LGBT grandparents are still largely invisible. I suspect this has much to do with the frequent media focus on lesbian couples with cute little tots or funny stories about finding sperm, or, for occasional variety, gay men searching for surrogates. The idea that LGBT people have been having kids long enough to become grandparents is foreign to most people, as is the concept of anyone coming out after having kids.

Alice Fisher and Michael Connolly of the Stonewall Communities Lifelong Learning Institute, the first LGBT LLI in the world, hope to change that. They ran a course in 2007 for LGBT grandparents, and wrote up their experiences for this month’s The Older LEARNer, a publication of the American Society on Aging. They discuss the changing role of grandparents in today’s society as well as particular issues for LGBT grandparents. One positive excerpt:

For the most part, we have not found the issue of how and when to come out to grandchildren to be a big issue for the youngest generation. We are open and low-key. . . . Grandchildren help choose—or invent—terms of endearment for the nonbiological grandparent. Can grandchildren keep track of five or seven grandparents? Yes, we found. Better than we can.

It’s a good article on a topic that deserves more recognition. I’ll be bringing you more voices of LGBT grandparents, in cooperation with Stonewall Communities, over at Mombian in the coming weeks. Stay tuned.

(Crossposted at Mombian.)

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It’s scary to think that some people still believe there is a connection between being gay and pedophilia. As a community of LGBT parents, we’re disheartened and disgusted by the seemingly endless finger pointing and ignorance.

Just yesterday, I came across this post on the popular blog, Think Progress. Here’s what the post said:

On his radio show today, right-wing talker Mike Gallagher responded to the California Supreme Court’s decision yesterday to bar “doctors from invoking their religious beliefs as a reason to deny treatment to gays and lesbians.” Gallagher agreed with a caller who wondered if the ruling meant “pedophiles could adopt”:

DAVID: The question I had told your screener, I said, if I’m understanding, California said because of sexual orientation, they can’t deny you service, so, does that mean pedophiles could adopt?

GALLAGHER: Well that’s just, that’s a great question. I mean, if you work in an adoption agency and a guy comes in saying, “I like little girls and I want to adopt a nine-year old girl and I’m going to probably sleep with her while I’m at it,” could the adoption agency person say, “well, excuse me, my religious beliefs find that, lead me to find that repugnant, I’m not going to do it.” Can he then turn around and sue the adoption agency and win like the lesbian did?

Gallagher and his caller’s claims are ridiculous. Sexual contact with a minor under the age of 18 is illegal in California. In fact, California passed the “toughest” sex offender law in the nation in 2006. No matter how much the right wing tries to insist upon it, being gay is not the equivalent of being a pedophile.

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