Every day, the men and women of the United States Armed Forces make countless sacrifices in service to our nation. These sacrifices are magnified for the 65,000 LGBT service members and their families by the federal law known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” which  prohibits LGBT service members from serving openly.LGBT parents face unique challenges and harms because of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” The law forces them to choose between protecting their partners and children and keeping their job. For example, LGBT parents cannot marry or enter into a civil union or domestic partnership without creating a public record of the service member’s relationship, which is a violation of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Oftentimes, service members will choose not to establish legal relationships with their own children - such as going through the formal second-parent adoption of a partner’s biological child - because they are required to provide the military with copies of birth certificates and adoption paperwork for all dependents. These documents usually list both legal parents and would effectively “out” the service member to their command. Failing to report legal dependents to the military makes a service member vulnerable to criminal charges. Failing to establish a legal parental relationship deprives these children of access to critical protections, such as medical care and survivorship benefits. Service members should not have to compromise the safety and security of their own families to do their job of protecting America.

Scott Hines graduated from the United States Air Force Academy and rose to the rank of Major during his 10 years in the service. Scott already had two biological children, Shiloh and Eden, from a previous marriage when he and his partner Jon decided to adopt two children together. The military recognized Shiloh and Eden as Scott’s legal dependents from the time they were born. But when Scott and Jon adopted Louis and Sage, Scott was faced with having to provide their adoption and birth certificates to the military, which would list Jon as the other parent, “outing” Scott, and putting his career at risk. Failure to report Louis and Sage as dependents would not only subject Scott to criminal charges, but would also deprive his two adopted children of access to benefits his two biological children already enjoyed - such as medical care and survivor benefits. Scott may have also had access to increased pay and housing allowances to help him support his larger family. Scott was forced to make an impossible choice between risking the career he loved and that helped him support his family and leaving Louis and Sage without the security and benefits other dependents, including their two siblings, would receive should anything ever happen to him.

Living under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” exacted not only financial burdens on Scott’s family, but also an emotional toll. Scott’s family couldn’t attend unit picnics with him. When he returned from a trip overseas they couldn’t greet him on base like the other families; Scott had to wait to reunite with them at home. Scott notes that, “One of the wonderful things about the military is that it’s a big family. Spouses support each other. Children support each other. All of these networks are unavailable to LGBT service members.” While he was protecting America and raising his children to be healthy and honest, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” hurt his family and forced them to be dishonest. In 2005, Scott ended his decade-long career because he felt “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was unfair to his partner and children.

“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is the only federal law that requires a person to be fired because of their sexual orientation. While passage of the Military Readiness Enhancement Act (H.R. 1283) would repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and replace it with a nondiscrimination law, it will not solve all of the problems faced by LGBT service members. It will not provide benefits for same-sex partners or spouses nor would it require that the military provide housing on base for LGBT families. However, repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” will eliminate many of the barriers service members face in creating and maintaining happy, healthy families. It will allow service members to protect their families by entering into legally recognized unions with their same-sex partners and to register their children as legal dependents without the fear of being fired. Repeal will ensure that children of LGBT service members have access to the same benefits and resources that other military dependents receive - like being able to enjoy the annual unit picnic, attend school on base, or participate in the official “coming home” ceremonies along with all of the other families welcoming their service members back after a long deployment.

Service members put their lives on the line to protect America. America should enable all service members to protect their families by repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

Popularity: 6% [?]

Prominent parenting scholars Judith Stacey and Timothy Biblarz have released a new study comparing two-parent, same-gender headed families with two-parent, different-gender headed families. Their study, which challenges the presumed superiority of mom-dad partnerships in raising kids, appears in the February 2010 issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family.

Stacey and Biblarz were curious why social science research comparing two-parent, different-gender families to single-parent families — research that typically shows better outcomes for kids raised by two parents — is so often used to assume that two-parent, different-gender parent couples are inherently better than same-gender parent couples, too. Isn’t is more likely the case, the researches asked, that the number of parents are making the difference here?

Their findings are consistent with that hypothesis, showing far greater similarities than differences in the parenting abilities, styles, and outcomes of two-parent, different-gender and two-parent, same-gender headed families. Though their current study doesn’t address families with more than two primary caregivers, Stacey and Biblarz’s research does pose interesting questions:

• If the number of primary caregivers is a big piece of the puzzle, what differences exist between single-parent headed families with little to no caregiver support and families with grandparents as primary or secondary caregivers, or other responsible adults who are active in children’s lives?
• And if two parents are generally better than one, so to speak, what about three or four? Given the increasing number of blended families, one wonders about the effects of multiple parents in children’s lives.

For now, Stacey and Biblarz’s work suffices to put to rest tired arguments being made about LGBT people’s ability to parent. Of course, we already know this through our life’s experiences, but in legislatures and courtrooms across America, it never hurts to have sound scholarship backing you up. The Family Equality Council will continue its work supporting this kind of research and making sure legislators and the media are aware that it exists, and that unlike the pseudo-science pushed by the right wing demagogues, this research is peer-reviewed, widely respected, and will stand the test of time.

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Do Children Need Both a Mother and a Father?
New Study Examines If the Gender of Parents Matter

LOS ANGELES-January 21, 2010-The presumption that children need both a mother and a father is widespread. It has been used by proponents of Proposition 8 to argue against same-sex marriage and to uphold a ban on same-sex adoption.

On the other end of the political spectrum, Barack Obama endorsed the vital role of fathers in a 2008 speech: “Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives, we are reminded today that family is the most important. And we are called to recognize and honor how critical every father is to that foundation.”

The lead article in the February issue of Journal of Marriage and Family challenges the idea that “fatherless” children are necessarily at a disadvantage or that men provide a different, indispensable set of parenting skills than women.

“Significant policy decisions have been swayed by the misconception across party lines that children need both a mother and a father. Yet, there is almost no social science research to support this claim. One problem is that proponents of this view routinely ignore research on same-gender parents,” said sociologist Timothy Biblarz of the USC College of Letters, Arts and Sciences.

Extending their prior work on gender and family, Biblarz and Judith Stacey of NYU analyzed relevant studies about parenting, including available research on single-mother and single-father households, gay male parents and lesbian parents. “That a child needs a male parent and a female parent is so taken for granted that people are uncritical,” Stacey said.

In their analysis, the researchers found no evidence of gender-based parenting abilities, with the “partial exception of lactation,” noting that very little about the gender of the parent has significance for children’s psychological adjustment and social success.

As the researchers write: “The social science research that is routinely cited does not actually speak to the questions of whether or not children need both a mother and a father at home. Instead proponents generally cite research that compares [heterosexual two-parent] families with single parents, thus conflating the number with the gender of parents.”

Indeed, there are far more similarities than differences among children of lesbian and heterosexual parents, according to the study. On average, two mothers tended to play with their children more, were less likely to use physical discipline, and were less likely to raise children with chauvinistic attitudes. Studies of gay male families are still limited.

However, like two heterosexual parents, new parenthood among lesbians increased stress and conflict, exacerbated by general lack of legal recognition of commitment. Also, lesbian biological mothers typically assumed greater caregiving responsibility than their partners, reflecting inequities among heterosexual couples.

“The bottom line is that the science shows that children raised by two same-gender parents do as well on average as children raised by two different-gender parents. This is obviously inconsistent with the widespread claim that children must be raised by a mother and a father to do well,” Biblarz said.

Stacey concluded: “The family type that is best for children is one that has responsible, committed, stable parenting. Two parents are, on average, better than one, but one really good parent is better than two not-so-good ones. The gender of parents only matters in ways that don’t matter.”

To request a copy of the article or to arrange an interview with a either Timothy Biblarz or Judith Stacey, please contact Suzanne Wu at suzanne.wu@usc.edu (Biblarz), James Devitt at james.devitt@nyu.edu (Stacey), or Bethany Carland-Adams at bcarland@wiley.com.

About the Journal: For more than 70 years, Journal of Marriage and Family (JMF) has been a leading research journal in the family field. JMF features original research and theory, research interpretation and reviews, and critical discussion concerning all aspects of marriage, other forms of close relationships, and families..

About Wiley-Blackwell: Wiley-Blackwell is the international scientific, technical, medical, and scholarly publishing business of John Wiley & Sons, with strengths in every major academic and professional field and partnerships with many of the world’s leading societies. Wiley-Blackwell publishes nearly 1,500 peer-reviewed journals and 1,500+ new books annually in print and online, as well as databases, major reference works and laboratory protocols. For more information, please visit www.wileyblackwell.com or www.interscience.wiley.com.

Popularity: 7% [?]

The Family Equality Council is joining the Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition for its 2010 Transgender Equality Lobby Day at the Massachusetts State House to lobby for passage of H1728/S1687, “An Act Relative To Gender-Based Discrimination and Hate Crimes.” We urge our families to join us and encourage their legislators to support this vital bill.

Date: Thursday, January 21, 2010
Time: 2:00-5:00 pm
Location: Massachusetts State House

Jennifer Chrisler, Executive Director, explained why this bill is vital to all loving families a recent opinion editorial:

Healthy Families Make Healthy Communities

In these economic times, most can relate to worries about making ends meet, losing a job, or facing eviction or foreclosure. For transgender people, these worries are constant, regardless of the economic climate. For transgender parents, these worries are exponentially multiplied by the number of people they support in their family. Current Massachusetts law fails to protect transgender people from harassment and violence, from being arbitrarily fired, evicted or denied loans, or prohibited access to homeless shelters, domestic violence safe houses and other places of public accommodation solely because of their gender identity or expression.

As a parent, I shudder to imagine what a struggle it would be to face these challenges and still raise my twin boys to be the happy, healthy, thriving children they are. The fundamental reality is that regardless of gender, gender identity, or sexual orientation, all parents share a desire for our children to be safe, healthy, and happy. Discrimination and harassment are an assault on our ability to protect ourselves, each other, and our children. Massachusetts can and should do better for ALL families. To be strong and healthy, families need safe neighborhoods and schools, as well as the ability to earn a living, secure a place to live, or obtain a line of credit. “An Act Relative to Gender-Based Discrimination and Hate Crimes,” which is pending in the Massachusetts Legislature, would ensure that these opportunities are available to transgender parents and their children by prohibiting discrimination and hate crimes based on gender identity.

On January 21, 2010, Family Equality Council, the nation’s leading advocacy organization for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender parents, will join the Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition for its 2010 Transgender Equality Lobby Day to urge the Massachusetts Legislature to pass this important and vital bill. Healthy families make healthy communities. As a Massachusetts parent, and the executive director of Family Equality Council, I call upon my peers in Massachusetts – lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and straight – to join Family Equality Council in working to ensure that all loving families in Massachusetts are recognized, respected, protected, and celebrated.

Jennifer Chrisler
Executive DirectorFamily Equality Council

Popularity: 10% [?]

Popularity: 12% [?]

Moments ago, the D.C. Superior Court upheld the decision of the D.C. Board of Elections and Ethics and the right and responsibility of the D.C. Council to protect the rights of minorities from discrimination. The court’s decision rejects a proposed ballot initiative that would have prohibited marriage equality in D.C. The ruling can be viewed by clicking here.

The lawsuit was filed by several national anti-gay activists and backed by thirty-nine Republican members of Congress. It sought to overrule a decision by the D.C. Board of Elections and Ethics that a ballot measure to overturn the marriage equality law recently passed in D.C. would violate the D.C. Human Rights Act. Under D.C. law, no ballot initiative may authorize discrimination under the Human Rights Act, which, among other things, prohibits the government from denying services or benefits based on an individual’s sexual orientation or gender identity. Marriage equality opponents had argued that D.C.’s human rights protections dating back to 1979 were invalid. Today, Judge Macaluso ruled that the D.C. Council acted within its legal authority when it adopted these vital anti-discrimination provisions and that the D.C. Board of Elections and Ethics ruled properly that the proposed initiative to overturn marriage equality in the District would violate the D.C. Human Rights Act.

The Family Equality Council filed an amicus brief in the case as a member of the Campaign for All D.C. Families, a coalition of D.C. residents and allied civil rights organizations united in an effort to win and secure civil marriage equality for all DC residents.

The marriage equality law, passed by the D.C. Council in December, is expected to go into effect on March 2, following a standard 30 legislative day review period by Congress.

Popularity: 10% [?]

The Family Equality Council is excited to announce that BD Wong will be the keynote speaker at the 15th Annual Rainbow Families Conference.

A Tony Award-winning actor, BD Wong is a highly acclaimed performer and advocate. Currently he plays forensic psychiatrist, Dr. George Huang, on NBC’s Law and Order: SVU. His character, Father Ray Mukada, on the HBO series, OZ, made him a cult favorite.

Wong’s talents expand far beyond the stage. In June 2003, he released his first book, Following Foo: The Electronic Adventures of the Chestnut Man, a memoir about the personal drama that he and partner Richie Jackson endured on their path to parenthood — involving a surrogate, an egg from Jackson’s sister and identical twins born 13 weeks prematurely and needing months of intensive care. Wong’s email updates to close friends during this trying time provided the foundation for this moving and inspirational memoir.

With the addition of BD Wong, the 15th Annual Rainbow Families Conference is set to again be the premier community building and learning event for current and prospective LBGT parents and their children, family members and friends, area educators and community members. Through your feedback, we are creating a conference that provides more exciting, relevant, and applicable programs and topics for you and your family. This year’s conference will also enable you to connect, socialize, and build community like never before. We understand that creating relationships with other families is key to building happy and healthy families.

To find out more about this year’s event and stay up-to-date with the latest conference information, visit www.familyequality.org/conference.

Popularity: 11% [?]

The U.S. State Department released a new directive which instructs embassies on how to implement new rules for Foreign Service Officers (FSO) with same-sex partners. This message is a welcome follow up to President Obama’s Oval Office signing of a Presidential Memorandum back in June of 2009. The signing, attended by Executive Director Jennifer Chrisler, extended a limited number of benefits to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) federal employees.

This new directive (posted below), instructs U.S. embassies to carry out the President’s June order by instructing foreign posts to ask host countries to issue visas to the same-sex partners of FSOs.

The Family Equality Council applauds Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for the leadership she has shown in making LGBT families serving safer and stronger. While this measure by the State Department is an important step forward, The Family Equality Council will continue to work at the federal level, pushing for more substantial change to support LGBT families, including passage of the Domestic Partnership Benefits and Obligations Act, a bill that would extend full health benefits to families of LGBT federal employees, and repeal of the so-called Defense of Marriage Act.  …click here to read more

Popularity: 11% [?]

Statement of Jennifer Chrisler, Executive Director, Family Equality Council:

“Today’s State Senate vote failed New Jersey’s families as well as the equality mandate of the New Jersey Constitution. There are over 16,000 lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) families in New Jersey, over a quarter of which are raising thousands of children. For too long, these families have endured second class status under a separate, unequal, and unconstitutional civil union scheme that even legislators who oppose marriage equality concede is a proven failure. These families, and particularly the children in them, need and deserve the recognition, respect, and security full marriage equality provides.

Despite today’s vote, full marriage equality is closer than ever before in New Jersey and it will come. The New Jersey Supreme Court unanimously ruled in 2006, in a case led by Lambda Legal, that LGBT families must be treated equality under the New Jersey Constitution. We look forward to supporting Lambda Legal, and continuing to support Garden State Equality, as Lambda Legal goes back to court to secure the full equality due to New Jersey’s LGBT families.

The recent passage of marriage equality in Washington, D.C. demonstrates that the national momentum for full marriage equality remains on the side of love and justice. The Family Equality Council, alongside the families we support, will continue to push for full equality until the days of partial rights, injustice, and inequality finally become a relic of the past in New Jersey and across the U.S.”

The Family Equality Council is the leading national LGBT family advocacy organization and is a proud partner of Garden State Equality.

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Popularity: 13% [?]

The Family Equality Council is thrilled that Cynthia Nixon, lesbian mom and star of Sex and the City, will be joining the kick off event for the campaign to end Florida’s adoption ban. Nixon is a leading lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) advocate, for which Family Equality Council honored her at our National Awards Dinner in 2008. The Family Equality Council has joined the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) of Florida, the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) and SAVE Dade in the campaign to end Florida’s adoption ban.

Join us to Overturn Florida’s Adoption Ban!

The Florida ban is the only law in the county that categorically prohibits gay men and lesbians from adopting children. The Family Equality Council, the ACLU of Florida, GLAAD, and SAVE Dade are hosting a training in Orlando, Florida that will provide participants with the basic skills to take a stand against Florida’s adoption ban. …click here to read more

Popularity: 13% [?]

This article is cross posted at www.press-citizen.com.
Josh O’Leary
Iowa City Press-Citizen

When Dawn and Jen BarbouRoske first exchanged rings 19 years ago, it was just the two of them alone in their living room, expressing their devotion to each other.

After all that’s happened in the past year — court battles, press conferences and, at last, a big wedding — they say it’s odd to think that their relationship was once so private.

There were no cameras, no reporters, no lawyers and no judges that October day in Grinnell a few months after they met in 1990.

It was a far cry from another important date in their relationship, April 3, 2009, when they learned that the Iowa Supreme Court ruled in their favor to legalize same-sex marriage, becoming just the third state at the time to do so and first in the Midwest.

When the decision was announced, their reaction was broadcast around the state and frozen on the front page of newspapers across the U.S. — daughter McKinley’s arms raised in triumph and Dawn and Jen embracing their youngest child, Breanna. …click here to read more

Popularity: 13% [?]