It's Father's Day. Your child has two moms and comes home from school with a homemade Father's Day card. What do you say? How do you approach the teacher? What do you say when people ask who the "real" parent is? Should white parents be raising children of color? Ask the tough questions here and we'll provide our best advice.




I'm a prospective lesbian mom and I don't know our children should call us. We're not sure what titles to use for Mom #1 and Mom #2. Do you have any advice?


In some two-mom households, each goes by a different variation of the word mother, such as, “mommy” and “mama.” Other mothers opt to include their first name or first initial - “Mommy Jo” and “Mommy Sue” or “mama B” and “mama T” a la Bette and Tina in The L Word. Another common practice is to use a non-English word for mother. For example, some Jewish moms use the Hebrew word “Ima.”

Sometimes both moms want to be called the same term, such as “mommy.” In these families, the children always seem to figure out their own ways to distinguish the two parents as needed. Some parents wait to see what their children decide to call them. In one such family, the child calls both her moms “mommy” and “other mommy” depending on who she is with or addressing, as in, “Mommy, when is other mommy getting home?” Yet another option that seems to work better in some family situations is to call one parent mommy and the other her first name.

In case any prospective or new fathers had the same question, dads have similar options – variations of father, first names or initials, or a non-English word. ”Daddy” and “Papa” seems to be a pretty common choice. Other ideas include “Pop-Pop” or the Hebrew word “ Aba .”

Go with what feels right to both of you. Regardless of what names you choose, your child will develop his on her own special relationship with each of you.



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