the story we first brought to you last Thursday about the MA girl harassed for
having two moms. You can visit Sara’s blog at http://suburblezmom.blogspot.com.
I used to love that chant at Pride marches when I was a young,
rebellious lesbian. Sauntering down the street, taking over for the
day, you shouted at the top of your lungs, celebrating how queer
It filled you up for the year. You were safe. Out. Everyone around
you was chanting, too.
In Milton, Massachusetts, it seems that there are some people who
are going to have to learn not only are we here, but we’re
legally married and have kids in the school. We’re in the car
pool line. Our kids are going to go to school and talk about what
they did on summer vacation.
With their moms. Or dads.
Get used to it.
In fact, a daughter of a lesbian mom didn’t think twice about
talking about her family. Why would she? Unfortunately, a group of
her peers decided it was something to pick on her about. It was
reported “what began as verbal harassment
last January became more serious over the year, and culminated in
what her attorney, Claudia Gregoire, in a letter to school
officials, called a “group assault” on Sept. 10. Gaffey said six or
seven students surrounded her daughter on the playground that day
and were “pushing her back and forth,” and two hit her. It ended
when another child intervened.”
Obviously these kids were not informed about the fact that being
gay or lesbian in Massachusetts is legal. We enjoy the same rights
as every one else.
Only state in the country, sure, but we do.
I read the article and asked my son Ben, who is now in middle
school in Newton, MA, if he had ever been teased for having two
Nope, he said. He went on to tell me at the camp he goes to that is
for kids of LGBT parents, Camp OUT, they were asked in a circle if
any of them had been teased at school for having queer parents. All
the kids raised their hand, minus four. Two went to a private
school with very active gay parents and two went to Newton schools
where bullying programs have been in full force for many years.
We need a structured way to address family diversity. It’s time
to recognize that kids come from many different homes. Parents come
in many different variations. I’m just as married as the next
couple down the street. My kids deserve to be recognized for who
they are, without fear.
And without some idiot pulling them aside and suggesting they be
“careful” about who they talk to, as Tucker Elementary
school’s counselor did. What kind of training does that counselor
have? How could they ever see telling a kid to be quiet about their
parents as a positive step?
I’m tired of people talking about LGBT parents in terms of
sexuality. My god, you’d think saying “Lesbian parent” is the
same as “hot wild f**king.”
It’s not. Explaining to kids, even preschoolers, that sometimes
there are two mommies, sometimes a mom and a dad, sometimes two
daddies, isn’t showing them a porn movie. It is simply describing
what they already know.
In fact, in preschool? They get it. They don’t really care.
They’re more concerned with who has the favorite truck or when
snack is being served. What’s so scary is that they don’t have
any hate in them when they are so little. When you plant a seed of
acceptance so young, it’s hard to teach them bigotry later.
Which is why the right wing nuts get so upset about it. Gotta teach
those kids to hate or else we’ll lose a generation to moderate
beliefs and have a dreaded open and affirming society.
My God, the Unitarian Universalists will take over!
Bottom line? Teachers can be trained and should be trained to teach
understanding about different family structures. They need to
address their own prejudices so they can create safe classrooms.
You can hate LGBT people but please, lay off our kids. They are
children. There’s enough to be teased about- being tall, skinny,
fat, having glasses, goofy shoes your mother bought, or always
taking sushi to lunch. Let’s not make it any harder for them
because of who their parents are.
Schools all across Massachusetts are going to have to hear
something and hear it loudly. We’re here. We’re queer.
Get used to it.