we got engaged. It was so exciting and we while we have been
together for almost five years, we were floating again like we just
starting dating. It was truly magical.
Unfortunately, all that came to an end when my girlfriend told her
father. He hasn’t been that great with her being a lesbian to
begin with, so the pending wedding was the icing on the cake with
regards to his level of acceptance. He was awkward, stilted and
made us feel badly about ourselves, no matter how hard we tried to
tune his disapproval out. It was heart breaking for my girlfriend
and it brought to light another potential issue we hadn’t totally
come to terms with yet – how would he act when we have kids? If
her dad didn’t accept us as a family now, why would accept us as
a family with children?
Marriage and children = heterosexual people for her dad, not two
women, not two men and their children, so how can he move along the
spectrum of acceptance before we add kids to our family? We have
talked about sending him books, giving our child his last name,
anything to get him to accept us AND most importantly, not make our
children feel weird or bad about themselves because they have two
moms. We won’t tolerate it and it may mean at some point he
can’t be part of our family. But really, can and will he change
beforehand? Is there something we can do to bring him along and
prepare him before our babies arrive?
Really, is this what we want to be thinking about when we just
engaged and should be in a romantic bubble right now? No, it
isn’t. We are in love and are excited about our family. Why
can’t he be?